And There Was Evening and There Was Morning for Six Days Last January (A Memory for the New Year)

Paul and I were in Pasadena, CA in late January, 2016, caring for our two grandsons while their parents celebrated an anniversary in an undisclosed place in the world (Hawaii). Each day of caregiving we were reminded what it's like for moms and dads raising preschool children who can't do much but have very strong opinions about everything. For instance, I have a strong hunch that table manners were invented by a person between the ages of 2 and 4; i.e., mother is setting the table and the child is saying, "No! put my knife on the right side of the plate!"

While we were the major caregivers, we were so happy to have Kara join us for much of the time--happy for her company, help and intimate knowledge of appropriate and inappropriate behavior when Mommy and Daddy are around. For instance, Mommy and Daddy do not think it appropriate for the boys to watch 16 episodes each of Chuggington and Curious George in one sitting. Most of what the boys suggested, however, was actually Mommy and Daddy-approved.

Day 1
Daddy and Mommy left early to begin their long-awaited vacation and, except for a few tears as we said goodbye, the boys handled their departure well. We only had to count to 3 seven times, and the boys enjoyed only one time-out each.

List of activities for the day; 45 seconds on the 2-wheeler--10 seconds for Drew and 35 for Ben. A walk to Pavilions and lots of goofing off.

In other words, I don't remember much of Day 1.

Day 2
Early in the morning, Gramie and Dudah were surprised to hear Drew calling for Gramie through the monitor in his room. We thought for sure both he and Benny would be calling for Mommy and Daddy. Just one more evidence that these boys are brilliant and have fantastic memories.

Day two was a lovely day, warm and sunny, so Drew and Benny spent time watering the beautiful succulent garden on their patio. This meant 45 trips to the faucet and about 31 gallons of precious California water spilled everywhere on the way to the plants. Benny watered from a plastic cup and Drew from some kind of pitcher. Gramie finally wised up and filled a bucket into which they could dip their cups. Later the two boys scooted around the sidewalk of their little bungalow neighborhood.

Day 3
Gramie made an apple pancake as a treat for breakfast. Drew cracked the eggs and the pancake turned out well except for the curry powder that was accidentally used as cinnamon, making the breakfast a whole different experience than it normally should have been. Everyone ate, but with quizzical expressions. At least Gramie and Dudah wore quizzical expressions.

Later that morning, Kara, Drew, Benny, Gramie and Dudah ventured out on a walk. Leaving Dudah at Starbucks for some coffee and quiet time, Kara, Gramie and the boys visited Cal Tech and the resident turtles. We were not disappointed to find multiple terrapin sunning themselves by the side of their disturbingly algae-covered pond. Thick algae clung to the shells, heads and even eyelids of some of the turtles. The turtles didn't seem to be bothered, though. At one point one of the large men standing along side the pond kicked one of the turtles into the pond, surprising not only the turtle but also the four of us. Actually, we were not just surprised but offended and incensed, wondering how the kicker could think it all right to wander into the territory of fellow-creatures and, without permission, give it such an abrupt toss. We didn't say anything, but we did glare at the man who did this. And we whispered an apology to the community of turtles for such ignorant behavior.

Kara navigated to Tournament Park. During this time she noticed that Drew was a little slower and maybe lower than he normally is. "You ok, Drew?" she asked. "I miss my mommy," was Drew's response.

I have to say here that there were very few tears during our visit. On this day and every day the boys went to bath, quiet and bed times with no fuss. Each afternoon after lunch Drew asked if quiet time was over only 16 times. Both boys slept during at least one quiet time (and sleep is not required. Only quiet. And the times were truly mostly quiet).

Day 4
We had a great idea. Three adults (Paul, Kara and I) would take two boys to a theater where the new Peanuts film was showing. Getting to the theater had its issues, but get there we did and in time to purchase tickets and popcorn while Kara parked the car 4 blocks away. We waited for her to join us, then, packed to the gills with refreshments, went inside the theater to find our seats. No sooner did the pre show advertisements begin and we were back in the lobby. A little later, we were back at home. We hadn't thought to put ourselves in the shoes of a 2 and/or 4 year old before making the decision to take the boys where they had never been before. Not only was the space huge and wholly unfamiliar, but the sound was thunderous and the pre show colors terrifying, beginning with an ocean wave moving toward the viewer, growing ever larger. How is the kid who has never seen a wide screen supposed to know that they are not in danger? In retrospect the boys' reactions were wholly understandable. We did attempt to coax them back into the theater, but the pre show had its effect. There was no going back, no matter that the only crisis for a Peanuts story is when will Snoopy get his dinner or how many times will Charlie Brown miss the football.

We had planned that after the movie we'd visit a restaurant where we could all make our own pizzas, but the whole experience wiped us all out for different reasons and we returned home with popcorn and sodas and watched two episodes each of Curious George and Chuggington. For dinner that evening we had a pizza the size of Texas delivered to the house and the boys ate about as much as the rest of us.

Day 5
Dudah and Gramie took a break to go to church where Aunt Kara sings. It was Candlemas (Purification of Mary, Presentation of Jesus in the Temple, Meet Simeon and Anna) and the choir did a mass by Ralph Von Williams, one of our favorite composers. It's hard to describe the blessing the service was to us, so we'll just leave it at that. Meanwhile, Drew and Benny had a great time with Abby Calvert, Gramie's niece, Tim and Kara's cousin and all-around beloved beautiful young woman and baby sitter.

After church Gramie raided Trader Joe's and we all, including Abby, ate lunch around the table. Everyone was happy knowing that Mommy and Daddy would be coming home tomorrow.

Day 6
Kara and Gramie took Drew and Benny on a train ride to get ice cream in LA. The main point of the trip was the trip as both boys love trains. After ice cream Drew and Benny picked out snakes; Drew named his "Judy."

Later that night, when Drew and Benny were fast asleep, Dudah retrieved Mommy and Daddy from the airport.

Day 7
Early in the morning on the 7th day Gramie and Dudah heard the voices of Drew and Benny from the monitor, but today they stayed in bed and listened to the joyous sounds of welcome when Mommy and Daddy went to get them.

PS
There was another trip to Tournament Park when Kara wasn't able to go; Drew gave Gramie good directions from the stroller (can't remember which day this second trip happened). The boys played on a set with a slide, a tunnel and a monkey bar. Drew fell and bumped his lip, but other than that the boys played happily together.

Each day the boys ate well, played hard, did everything they were asked to do (at least by the count of 3).  Above all, we loved our time with them and feel so lucky to have seen all they are able to do at this point, knowing that they are so well-cared for, even now enjoying rich, meaningful lives. Good job, Mommy and Daddy!